Lesson 7 of 26 · 3 min

G is for Getting Help

Weight is one of the few health problems people are expected to solve entirely alone, in private, while being judged. That expectation is both cruel and ineffective.

G is for Getting Help3 min

Getting help is not weakness and it is not cheating. Every difficult, sustained human achievement — recovery, athletics, education, business — is done with support. Weight is not the exception.

Help takes many forms: a physician who takes you seriously, a therapist for the eating that is not about food, a friend who walks with you, a group that has been where you are, a spouse who stops keeping the trigger food on the counter.

It also means learning to ask specifically. "Be supportive" is unactionable. "Please do not offer me seconds" is something a person can actually do.

Practice this

Make one specific, concrete request of one person this week.
Identify the kind of help you are most resistant to asking for. Ask why.
Find one group, class, or professional and take a single step toward contact.

Sit with this

Who in your life makes this easier? Who makes it harder?
What are you trying to prove by doing this alone?
What help would you accept if nobody would know?

Going deeper

Longer sessions from the Doc Russ archive that expand on this letter. Optional, but worth your time.

How to Choose and Use Mentors11 min

Can We Talk? 8 Tips for Talking With Someone You Love About Their Weight9 min