Lesson 25 of 26 · 4 min

Y is for You

Somewhere in the years of dieting, the point tends to get lost. The goal was never a number. It was a life you actually want to be living.

Y is for You4 min

When weight becomes the whole identity, every other part of the self gets deferred until after the loss. People postpone the trip, the class, the relationship, the photograph, waiting for a body they have decided is a prerequisite.

That deferral is both a large cost and a poor strategy, because the postponed life is precisely the source of motivation that lasts. The people who keep weight off tend to be pursuing something — energy for their kids, a hike, a career, a longer healthspan — with weight loss as a side effect rather than the whole project.

You are not a problem to be solved. You are a person with a life to live, and this work is in service of that life.

Practice this

Write down what you want your life to look like, with no mention of weight.
Do one thing this week that you have been postponing until you are thinner.
Name the real reason you want this. Go past the first answer.

Sit with this

What are you waiting to do until you lose weight?
Who are you besides someone trying to lose weight?
If your weight never changed, what would you still want to change?

Going deeper

Longer sessions from the Doc Russ archive that expand on this letter. Optional, but worth your time.

Who Am I? Why Your Answer Could Be Keeping You Fat31 min

Identity Crisis27 min